Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
