we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
