I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
