All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
