ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i think i have two assholes
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
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