I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
