she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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