Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
