you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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