tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
