think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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