can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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