So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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