There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
