I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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