I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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