I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Randomize
