Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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