He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
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