I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
