Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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