so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
