I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
4 words: hood of his car
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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