So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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