help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
