i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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