Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
