There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
