you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
