Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
