So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
