covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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