I want to have your abortion
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
