how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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