Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
