Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
