she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
