there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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