she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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