Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
