coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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