what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
