So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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