I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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