i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
