Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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