She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
