Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
