So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
