Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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