oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
