I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
