Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
